Patchwork and rainbow families have long become a part of everyday life for many people in Germany. But, according to Federal Justice Minister Marco Buschmann of the neoliberal Free Democrats (FDP), the law has lagged stubbornly behind "social reality." New plans to liberalize adoption and family law should change that after a draft reform bill was sent together with invitations for representatives of state justice administrations to attend government talks later this month.

Under the proposed reforms, it will be possible for both adults in an unmarried partnership to adopt a child together and for just one adult in a marriage to become the legal parent of an adopted child. In Germany, both married and unmarried heterosexual and same-sex couples are able to adopt. However, married couples must both legally adopt the child, whereas only one adult in an unmarried partnership may become the adoptive child's legal parent.

The Association of Foster and Adoptive Families in Germany (PFAD) said it welcomes the changes to adoption law, saying legal reforms "should be geared towards the reality of family life."

"The reality of families today shows that marriage does not promise permanence, as was previously assumed in adoption law," said Carmen Thiele, head of PFAD's Berlin office.

What is the law on adoption in Germany? 

Under German law, it is possible for adults from the age of 25 and over to adopt a child. For married couples, at least one spouse must be at least 25 years old; the younger spouse must be at least 21 years old. There is no maximum age limit for adoptive parents. However, the regulations stipulate that the age gap between the adoptive parent and child should correspond to a "natural distance" ("natürlicher Abstand").

Single people are also able to adopt but this is only considered in special cases, for example, where there is already a long-term relationship between the adult and the child. On top of that, the number of people wishing to adopt also hugely exceeds the number of children put up for adoption in Germany. 

In all cases, suitability for adoption is decided according to a range of criteria, including the stability of a partnership, the physical and mental health of the adoptive parents, the motivation to adopt, living conditions and financial circumstances. Couples who wish to adopt a child need to submit an application to an adoption agency such as those run by local youth welfare offices or state-approved adoption services managed by church and non-religious organizations. 

Intercountry adoption is governed by the Hague Adoption Convention of 1993, in effect in Germany since 2002, a multilateral treaty with 106 contracting parties including the US, UK, Canada, Germany, Brazil, China and India. The Adoption Convention sets out clear procedures and prohibits improper financial or other gain, as well as safeguarding against illicit practices such as child abduction, sale and trafficking.  

Children to be able to have two mothers 

In addition to changes to adoption law for married and unmarried couples, the draft reform bill will also states that a child will be able to have two "co-mothers" from birth. Under current German law, the partner of the woman who gives birth to the child in a lesbian couple must adopt the child through stepchild adoption. This lengthy legal process, during which the woman's suitability to adopt must be assessed, has long been criticized. 

The LSVD+ Queer Diversity Association, Germany's largest LGBTQ+ civil rights organization, told DW it "very much welcomes" the fact that the government is pushing ahead with the long-awaited and promised reforms. "The hassle of stepchild adoptions for two-mother families must be brought to an end. After all, children from rainbow families have a right to two parents from birth and regardless of their gender," said LSVD+ board member Patrick Dörr in a statement to DW.

Under paternity law, it is not currently legally possible for a child to have two fathers in Germany: the legal father is either the child's biological father or the mother's partner who is in a "social-familial relationship" with the child. For children with gay parents, one of the men can acknowledge paternity, but this does not apply to his partner, as under German law, there is only one parent besides the biological mother. Instead, he can adopt the child by way of stepchild adoption. This will not change under the proposed reforms. 

The law on this particular issue was recently contested when the Federal Constitutional Court in Karlsruhe ruled in April 2024 that biological parents must always have the opportunity to maintain and exercise parental responsibility for their children. This opens up the possibility for the recognition of multi-parent families, i.e. for a child to have two fathers and a mother. 

However, the ruling defined biological parents as "a man and a woman who have conceived the child through sexual intercourse with their gametes, if this woman has subsequently given birth to the child." It would, therefore, not apply to biological parents in the case of artificial insemination. The court did not make the ruling mandatory and has instead obliged legislators to decide how to regulate paternity law by June 30, 2025, at the latest. 

Legal systems contend with modern parenthood

For now, the draft reform bill drawn up by the Justice Ministry emphasizes that some basic legal principles will no be changed. Firstly, a woman who gives birth to a child will always be considered to be the child's mother "without her legal status being contestable or open to agreement." Secondly, the draft bill states that "a child will continue to have only two legal parents."

Legal systems worldwide are contending with the changing configurations of modern families, including the rise of polyamory. In the US, where adoption is largely governed by state law, the US Supreme Court in 2017 ruled that both spouses in same-sex marriages had the right to be listed as a parent on a child's birth certificate. Only a handful of states, such as California, allow children to have more than two legally recognized parents. 

In Canada, several court rulings have recognized the right of more than two people to be the legal parents of a child. In 2021, for example, a British Columbia Supreme Court ruled that all three members of a polyamorous trio should be registered as the parents of the child they were raising together as a family. 

Multi-parent families of more than two are not currently legally recognized in any European country. A report by the State Commission in the Netherlands from 2016 recommended changes to the law to recognize multi-parenthood for up to four parents and two households. However, successive governments have taken different views on the matter, and the law has thus far not been changed.

Edited by Rina Goldenberg

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