Not everyone who is skeptical of the COVID-19 vaccine is a conspiracy theorist. Some people still have concerns because of how quickly this new type of vaccine has been developed, or because they can't tell the difference between fact and fiction.

These people are usually open to clarification — especially if a trusted person tries to bring order to the chaos with scientific facts. So what can you do if a friend or family member starts spreading misinformation? 

Stay calm

It may be hard, but try to keep your cool if your grandmother, uncle or another member of the family drops the theory that vaccines contain microchips even before Christmas dinner is served.

Staying calm does not mean, however, that you shouldn't push back on unscientific claims. The question is how to parry: It won't help to lose control. You won't win any arguments that way, and the festivities could be spoiled before they even get started.

First, ask yourself what you want to achieve? With relatives and close friends, it's not only about winning an argument. You might be wondering what has happened, or why they believe certain dubious theories. 

One thing is certain: you're close with these people for a reason. So it might help to listen before you shout.

Emotions vs. facts

In their book "Fake Facts," psychologist Pia Lamberty and civil rights activist Katharina Nocun explore the various reasons people might be attracted to conspiracy theories. Disappointment, fear and stress are just some of the feelings that may be involved.

Conspiracy theories might help people cope with their lives without having to delve deeply into their own issues, which in turn might raise unpleasant or even shameful feelings. Such theories help people find someone to blame for their own unhappiness: politicians, Big Pharma, the media. Holding others responsible makes it easier to cope with one's own emotional deficit. 

Psychologist Sarah Kuhn from the University of Basel in Switzerland, whose research focuses on conspiracy theories and cognitive biases, suggests one might find out more about why a person is attracted to a dubious notion by asking a simple question like, "How have things been lately?" 

"People who subscribe to conspiracy theories often believe they possess exclusive knowledge and think it is their task to spread it," said Kuhn, adding that people might be motivated to act according to a certain set of values but that the backdrop might actually be a lack of self-confidence, which a conspiracy theory can help to mitigate.

In such cases, factual reasoning has little chance of success. If your grandfather is trying to fill an emotional void with the help of conspiracy theories, he will not give up the strategy that easily. And, in any case, the conversation will not likely come to the conclusion you seek because it will only address the symptom, not the root cause of the problem.

Formulate facts, point out contradictions

This doesn't mean people should go unchallenged if they express the idea that the COVID-19 vaccine is dangerous for the community. Kuhn said it's definitely fine to point out contradictions in an argument, for example by asking why some people insist on the potential negative effects of the vaccine but not those of contracting the virus itself.

She points out that it's particularly important not to embarrass someone, or label them stupid. This will neither rescue them from the quagmire of conspiracy theories, nor help you win the day. Questions like "How can you believe such trash?" are not helpful, she said.

Instead of focusing on crude narratives, Kuhn suggested people should simply express and repeat facts in as neutral a way as possible, without judging the other person.

Take a clear stance against antisemitism

In "Fake Facts," Lamberty and Nocun point out that many conspiracy theories fall back on antisemitic tropes. They said it's key to hit the brakes as soon as somebody starts talking about a global financial elite pulling the strings, for example.

Antisemites like to argue that Jews control the global media and the banks, using thinly-veiled codes, including the trope of the puppeteer behind the scenes. "Codes and metaphors function like dog whistles. Those who can hear and decode them know that hatred of Jews is being spread," writes the civic society NGO Amadeu Antonio Foundation in its publication, "Deconstruct Antisemitism."

"Not all conspiracy theories are automatically antisemitic," said Lamberty and Nocun in their book. "But starkly simplified descriptions of the reality of 'those up there' and 'us down here' often make them easy to connect to antisemitic models for explaining the world."

That's why it's important to show some moral courage even with the closest of relatives and point out that conspiracy theories can fuel hatred and antisemitism.

Communicate personal feelings

One of the basics of conflict resolution is to communicate messages in the first person. There is a huge difference between the two statements: "I feel offended" and "You have offended me" — the latter is a clear accusation that will trigger resistance.

"It's important to name the specific behavior or statement that a person feels is hurtful," said Kuhn. Unlike personality traits, behavior and statements can be altered. A person thus has the chance to respond to criticism without feeling rejected as a human being.

Take a break

Since it's the festive season, do we really need to talk about the pandemic, the COVID vaccine and Bill Gates? "If a conversation does head in that direction, people should stop for a moment and ask themselves if they have the resources to deal with it," said Kuhn.

If multiple rounds of mulled wine have already drowned any intention of having a reasonable conversation, it might be better to change the subject entirely. Kuhn suggests that those in attendance come up with a safe word that can be used to indicate it's time to move on. Another option would be to simply ban certain topics ahead of time. After all, everybody needs to take a break from the bad and instead focus on the good things.

Positive shared experiences can strengthen a relationship and may even help those spreading conspiracy theories change their mind in the end, said Kuhn.

This article was originally in German