In Germany, 155 women were killed by their partners or ex-partners in 2023, according to the Federal Criminal Police Office.

Lawyer Corinna Wehran-Itschert remembers the case of a woman with several small children. Despite restraining orders, her husband stalked her for more than two years following their separation. "The man ambushed her in her entryway and killed her. That was awful," she said.

Diana B. (name changed) is one of Wehran-Itschert's clients. She told DW that her husband has repeatedly threatened to kill her, and she wants to do everything to stop him from finding her. He beat her for years, choking and in the end severely injuring her. Because there were no previous reports against her husband, the courts considered him a first-time offender and imposed only a suspended sentence.

Diana B. has built a new life for herself and her children in a new location. She survived — but hundreds of other women did not.

Politicians aren't doing enough to address femicide

"If women are killed because they are women, we need to call these crimes what they are: femicide," said German Interior Minister Nancy Faeser earlier this year. "These femicides must not be trivialized as so-called relationship tragedies or jealousy dramas." In Germany, femicide is not categorized as a criminal offense — perpetrators are charged with murder or manslaughter.

"Two femicides in Berlin per week — every second day a woman in Germany is murdered by her partner or ex-partner. That concerns and angers me greatly," said Family Minister Lisa Paus in September, after two women were allegedly killed by former partners in the German capital. She said "we not only need security measures against terrorists who attack people with knives, but also for the prevention and protection of women from violence."

In an urgent letter, organizations and more than 30,000 individuals reminded the federal government that its 2021 coalition agreement "pledged to make a law to provide better protection to those affected by violence." Paus has drafted an anti-domestic violence law, but it's stuck in negotiations between various ministries.

"Without the anti-violence law, people will continue to die," warned the signatories of the letter. "People's lives will continue to be destroyed because they will be denied the protection they urgently need!"

Not enough space, not enough money for women's shelters

According to the Council of Europe's Istanbul Convention on preventing and combating violence against women and domestic violence, Germany lacks about 14,000 spaces for women and children in refuge shelters. One recent study said far too little is being invested into prevention and protection services: €300 million ($325 million) instead of the recommended up to €1.6 billion per year.

In Germany, funding for women's refuge facilities is decided at the state and local council levels. That's a problem, according to Alexandra Neisius, who runs the women's shelter in Koblenz where Diana B. and her children found help.

The city of 115,000 people should have 11-12 rooms where women can receive protection. There are currently seven, meaning many women must be turned away. When Neisius lists an available space, she said it's filled within a couple of hours.

The women's shelter in Koblenz has successfully applied for funding to expand and renovate its facilities, planning to build two new family rooms, plus one for emergency cases. But money for extra staff has not been approved, despite being urgently needed for legal and trauma-sensitive advice.

The emergency facility is where police or youth welfare officials can accommodate endangered women at short notice. According to Gabriele Slabenig, the Koblenz police official responsible for domestic violence cases, some women call the police themselves, while others turn up at the shelter with their children and belongings packed. She works on 150-200 cases of violence against women per year and monitors high-risk situations.

"More and more women came saying: I need protection, I cannot go home anymore, I am being beaten, I am threatened with death," she said.

It's rare for places in women's shelters to be available nearby or at short notice. Police in Koblenz sometimes drive women in emergency situations up to 300 kilometers (about 190 miles) away to a safe place. Crime experts examine victims' cellphones to delete tracking and spying software.

For women, safety is often a cost issue

Women's shelter director Neisius criticized the fact that women who do not qualify for social benefits must pay for their stay themselves. Together with a supporters' association, she tries to help the victims using donated funds. According to nationwide statistics from the shelters, it's mostly the women who must pay for their stays themselves who return to violent situations.

A draft of the family violence law, which DW has obtained, mentions an enforceable "right to protection and legal advice" free of charge for all victims. That would oblige Germany to provide enough spaces at women's shelters.

Violence against women affects all parts of society. However, a higher proportion of migrant women are living in the shelters, because they tend to need more support. "Often they have no family here to help them. They cannot speak the language very well and don't know what the laws are," said Neisius.

Slabenig of the Koblenz police said many women are at an elevated risk of being killed after a separation, a death threat or a physical attack such as strangling. She said offenders often share certain characteristics, namely: they are "men who are extremely aggressive, impulsive, controlling, dominant, jealous."

"Children who witness violence toward their mothers, that is like violence against the children themselves," said lawyer Wehran-Itschert. There is the risk of the cycle continuing through the generations: "Either the son begins to hit or behaves as macho as the husband — or the daughter becomes a victim."

The children at the women's shelter in Koblenz are taught about nonviolence, and a social worker visits to work with the boys. Neisius urges women who want to stay with a violent man for the sake of their children: "Please leave, for the sake of the children."

Diana B. never wants to see her husband again, and has realized it was wrong to stay with him. "If I'm not doing well, then my children aren't doing well either." She has emphasized to her daughter that if a man disrespects or hits her, she should leave him straight away.

Hoping for a violent man to change his ways isn't the right approach, said Neisius: "It doesn't stop by itself."

This article was originally written in German.

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