An estimated 1,000 queer-identified people in Germany undergo "conversion therapy" every year. But the practice may soon be banned. During LGBTQ Pride Month, DW spoke to Mike F., who underwent the controversial therapy.
Image: DW/L. von Hammerstein
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Conversion therapy ban
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From a young age, Mike F. knew that he was gay. But growing up in close Evangelical Christian circles made accepting his sexuality nearly impossible.
"I think I first became aware that something was different during kindergarten," Mike told DW. "But, of course, I didn't know what it meant."
For years, Mike was reluctant to share his feelings toward boys and chose to hide his sexuality until, at the age of 16, he had his first sexual encounter with a man.
"That was a nice time of life. But then the conflict started to grow," Mike said. Growing up in Bad Homburg, in southwestern Germany, Mike was an active member of a local Christian youth club, which heavily influenced his moral outlook on the world.
During his "conversion therapy," Mike F. ended all contact with queer-identified friendsImage: DW/L. von Hammerstein
"I felt at home in Christian circles, where it was made very clear: 'God doesn't want that. You should lead another life. How are you supposed to come before God? This is a mortal sin,'" Mike said.
Conversion therapy ban
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'If you pray ...'
By the age of 21, Mike chose to undergo "conversion therapy," which seeks to effectively repress a person's sexuality. It is often used on children and teenagers. Methods such as electroshock therapy and aversive conditioning techniques are considered mentally abusive by medical professionals.
"I was convinced that if you pray hard enough, and commit yourself enough, things would change," Mike said.
On beginning his "therapy," Mike committed himself to ending all contact with queer-identified friends and partners. For a decade he was abstinent. The loneliness brought him to the brink of suicide.
"I reached the point where I couldn't go on anymore," Mike said. But it was the suicide of a close friend, as well as his deep Christian faith, that prevented him from ending his life.
"I thought that, if I'd have gone ahead, then I wouldn't have been granted eternal life," he said. "Today I can laugh about how stupid that is. But that was the reason that kept me from ending my life."
Mike's story isn't an anomaly in German society. According to the Magnus Hirschfeld Foundation, there are at least 1,000 cases of conversion therapy a year in Germany, not just by religious leaders but also psychotherapists.
Practitioners in Germany currently face no consequences for carrying out "conversion therapy." But Health Minister Jens Spahn is on the way to taking drastic action: He wants to ban the practice by the end of 2019.
"Homosexuality is not a disease and does not require treatment," Spahn told media earlier this year.
Banning the practice would make Germany the second country in the European Union to impose a nationwide ban. Although many countries have implemented regional and state regulations on the controversial therapy, only three countries have a nationwide ban: Malta, Brazil and Ecuador.
Like many critics, Mike worries that, even with a ban, "conversion therapy" would continue under a different guise. But he said it was a step in the right direction.
"I think it's important, for example, to put a ban in place for young people that makes it clear: Doctors and therapists are not allowed," Mike said. "Then there will be a lot less of this nonsense."
For now, Mike can put the past behind him, and look forward to making the final preparations for his August wedding — something unimaginable to him 20 years ago.
"I'm not bitter towards anyone," Mike said. "Neither the Christian circles where I learned and heard everything nor the therapist. Someone from my former parish reached out to me and said — hats off to him — he was sorry for what happened. So I can see something is happening. Change is on the way."
Countries that have legalized same-sex marriage
Ecuador became the latest country to allow same-sex marriage when its Constitutional Court ruled for two gay couples in June 2019. DW takes a look at some of the other countries that have taken the step.
Image: picture-alliance/ZUMA Wire/O. Messinger
2001, The Netherlands
The Netherlands was the first country in the world to permit same-sex marriages after the Dutch parliament voted for legalization in 2000. The mayor of Amsterdam, Job Cohen, wedded the first four same-sex couples at midnight on April 1, 2001 when the legislation came into effect. The new law also allowed same-sex couples to adopt children.
Image: picture-alliance/dpa/ANP/M. Antonisse
2003, Belgium
The Netherlands' neighbor, Belgium, followed the Dutch lead and legalized same-sex marriage two years later. The law gave same-sex partners many of the rights of their heterosexual counterparts. But unlike the Dutch, the Belgians did not initially allow same-sex couples to adopt children. The Belgian parliament passed a bill granting them that right three years later.
Image: picture-alliance/dpa/EPA/J. Warnand
2010, Argentina
Argentina became the first Latin American country to legalize same-sex marriages when its Senate voted 33 to 27 in favor of it in July 2010. Argentina thereby became the tenth country in the world to permit gay and lesbian marriages. The South American country was not the only one to do so in 2010. Earlier in the year, Portugal and Iceland also passed same-sex marriage legislation.
Image: picture-alliance/dpa/EPA/L. La Valle
2012, Denmark
Denmark's parliament overwhelmingly voted in favor of legalization in June 2012. The small Scandinavian country had made headlines before when it was the first country in the world to recognize civil partnerships for gay and lesbian couples in 1989. Same-sex couples had also enjoyed the right to adopt children since 2009.
Image: picture-alliance/CITYPRESS 24/H. Lundquist
2013, New Zealand
New Zealand became the 15th country worldwide and the first Asia-Pacific country to allow gay and lesbian marriages in 2013. The first couples were married on August 19. Lynley Bendall (left) and Ally Wanik (right) were among them when they exchanged vows on board an Air New Zealand flight from Queenstown to Auckland. France legalized same-sex marriage the same year.
Image: picture-alliance/dpa/EPA/Air New Zealand
2015, Ireland
Ireland made headlines in May 2015 when it became the first country in the world to legalize same-sex marriage through a referendum. Thousands of people celebrated in the streets of Dublin as the results came in showing almost two-thirds of voters opting for the measure.
Image: picture-alliance/dpa/EPA/A. Crawley
2015, USA
The White House was alight in the colors of the rainbow flag on June 26, 2015. Earlier, the US Supreme Court ruled 5 to 4 that the constitution guaranteed marriage equality, a verdict that paved the way for same-sex couples to be married across the country. The decision came 12 years after the Supreme Court ruled that laws criminalizing gay sex were unconstitutional.
Germany became the fifteenth European country to legalize gay and lesbian marriages in June 30, 2017. The bill passed by 393 to 226 in the Bundestag, with four abstentions. German Chancellor Angela Merkel voted against the bill, but paved the way for its passage when she said her party would be allowed to vote freely on the measure only days before the vote took place.
Image: picture-alliance/ZUMA Wire/O. Messinger
2017 - 2018, Australia
Following a postal survey which showed the majority of Australians were in favor of same-sex marriage, the country's parliament passed a law to legalize it in December 2017. As couples in Australia have to give authorities one month's notice of their nuptials, many of the first weddings took place just after midnight on January 9, 2018 - including that of Craig Burns and Luke Sullivan, pictured.
Image: Getty Images/AFP/P. Hamilton
2019, Taiwan
In May 2019, the island state became the first country in Asia to legalize same-sex marriage. The government survived an attempt by conservative opposition to water down the bill. Gay couples are able to offically register their marriage from May 24 onwards. President Tsai Ing-wen called it "a big step towards true equality."
Image: dapd
2019, Ecuador
The Andean state's top court ruled 5-4 to allow two gay couples to marry in June. The decision followed a ruling from the Inter-American Court on Human Rights affirming that countries should allow same-sex couples the right to marry.
